SURVIVOR

Growing up, the chance for me to have a stronger confidence was not provided for me - being an athletic guy, who needed (and still needs) a sport. Competitive sports were frowned on by some Christians and seen as "ungodly" by my preaching dad.

I have therefore had to fight an overly intense battle at times, just to be who I am today. My present freedom... my normal, athletic, self... have been fought very hard for, by me - with very little support and encouragement, except for some kind family and friends who understand my fight. These people see my potential, spiritually and athletically. They do not advise me to become a "missionary" in a far away land. You see? Coming from a strangely religious background, I have had to overcome so much - and do a lot of healing, and address a lot of nonsense. 

And while I greatly appreciate morals (showing gratitude is, I think, the best moral I learned from my parents), I am greatly disheartened by a mere lip-service kind of love, in which there is no evidence, action and proof of the real thing.

You can have all the values and morals you want to, but if you don't have charitable love, for which you have proof for, what do you have? Love, to be meaningful, must be proven with evident and charitable action (real action).

Also, I have at times reflected on my childhood and I would like to share some thoughts. I feel I should suggest that children ought to be raised and taught according to their individual strengths, and particular needs, with understanding of where they might excel and where their yet-to-be-seen and untapped potential actually is. What imagination or empowering vision might unleash an outpouring of excellence? Education (public, private or home-schooling) should not be like a factory... producing inhibited, limited, greatly restricted and confined students. Parents (and teachers, too) must not be pushy, but rather supportive, understanding and faithfully encouraging. Counsel: show real faith in verifiable, clear, acts of charitable love. Children normally have a lot of positive energy. Do not discourage such a gift, rather allow flourishing - in such a way where this is kindly true, brilliant, healthy and generous.

Childhood experience is important, and for many years I've had to dig deep and try to find positive memories, just to get by in the present - which seems to be a continual state of survival, rather than a life being fully lived.

Some say "forget the past," or "move on!" But I know that the positive things, especially, of the past should not be forgotten.

To some extent, every time I train, run or hike (where there are mountains) I'm reliving memories and things familiar and positive to me.

For years, I've survived and not fully lived. I'm still a survivor, but I continue to hope for a better life... as a hockey player, especially.

Engaging in physical activity helps to sustain me spiritually. This helps to take my mind off a sometimes bleak present.

It's an unexciting fact, but sometimes life is more about surviving than living. If you don't conform to what the masses say and do, you pay a price. If you want to have genuine freedom, you must have a lot of courage.

I would like to say that good times and healthy memories can be like a steady foundation, on which you can presently build. Remember the times when things were perfect, then desire good things now.

I'm thankful for music also, as well as the positive memories (I have been blessed with) to draw upon.

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